Life

I See You

I see you.

You have placed dark thoughts in my head. You have placed pain and grief.

I see you.

You are the enemy. I am not afraid. You are under my feet. I crush your head with my heel.

I see you.

You place doubt, fears, worries. You can not control me.

I see you.

My child is Gods. My husband is Gods. Loss will not control me. My God is in control.

I see you and know what your doing. But God has already won. It is your loss.

“Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.”
‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭5:7-11‬ ‭ESV‬‬

The enemy can come in the quietest of voices, in the middle of prayer. He waits in the morning, scrolling through Instagram. He comes with just one thought. He tries to destroy despite your praise. He is the enemy of our souls. I see him, but I don’t know him. I know the King and I know when your not Him. Your fears have no hold on me. My God is bigger. God already has dominion forever and ever.

Where you destroy, He restores.

Where you condemn, He confirms.

Where you weaken, He strengthens.

Where you tear down, He establishes.

Life

Joy is a Noun

April 7, 2020 Ellie Rose came into this world and changed everything. I am a mom.

Joy is a Noun.

Joy is gladness not based on circumstance.

“Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory,”

1 Peter 1:8-9

A noun is a word used to identify a person, place or thing.

Is Joy Used to Identify You?

I can tell you right now I feel lack of Joy. My circumstances are making me feel trapped, even though it is a good trapped. I have to give up a profession that I have used to identify myself for 7 years. However I am gaining a new identity. I am a mom. I can not think of anyone raising this sweet girl but me. My circumstances have lead me to be her teacher and coming to terms with my new role during postpartum hormone changes can feel overwhelming. No matter how I feel God always comes in and gives me Joy. A joy that I don’t see but I know is there. I can feel joy deep in my soul even when my flesh is hormonal and sad.

I do not know what your circumstance may be in this season, but know your not alone in your feelings. However God gives us something called Joy that is an eternal gladness that is more than our circumstances.

Identity · Life

Accepting the Gospel

I find myself constantly trying to earn my own salvation.  I feel like I serve and I do,  “God see, look what I’m doing for you.”  I had to stop and check myself.  In this season the enemy has been taunting me with my past.  I find that I’m desperately serving to atone for past mistakes.  Mistakes that have already been covered with the blood of Christ.  I have already been shown mercy, grace, and love yet my humanity can’t seem to forgive myself.

I find thats the hardest part about being Christian;  Accepting the love of Christ.  God forgets but we remember.  I know what the scripture says, He has placed my sin in the sea of forgetfulness.  My sin is as far as the east is from the west.  All I have to do is let go and accept God’s Mercy.  Mercy is the compassion or forgiveness shown towards someone whom it is in one’s power to punish or harm.  You see we know that we deserved the cross yet God choose to buy us back by the sacrifice of His only Son. God has the right to punish us for our actions except he shows us mercy, A mercy we don’t deserve.  I am in awe.  This love is the hardest to understand.  I do not have to do anything. Nothing. There is nothing to earn, I just have to accept it.

your-sin-is-not-greater-than-gods-mercy-mercy-quotes

I am writing, because I see so many of us trying to stay on the Platform in front of Pilot, I find we are trying to atone for sins already paid.  Jesus already took your place, He already paid the price for your sins.  He loved you so much and there was nothing you had to do.  I see Pilot taking our chains off, while we are saying, “No I deserve this!!”  All the while Jesus looks at us, “No, this is mine.  Let me have your sin, Let me have you pain. ”

You see Our greatest Challenge is not our discipline, our devotion, it’s not the amount of things we can do.  Our greatest challenge is believing the Gospel.  Letting go and letting God take our shame and turn it into something beautiful.  You are beautiful and worthy of the this great love story.  You are His Daughter and Son.

 

God, I can’t put my mind around the love you gave.  You overwhelm me.  I am in awe.  God I pray for myself and everyone else reading this, Help us not work to deserve something already given.  Help us accept Your Love in a new way.  Help us accept and show your love in the world around us. You are a good good Father and I love you so so much. Thank you for your love that I do not deserve. Thank you for saving me and taking my place. Amen. 

Life

Today I Choose Joy

Sadness comes in the dead of night, in the morning when I think of our talks, It comes on a backroad with a song we used to share.  Loss is hard.  Choosing Joy in the mist of sadness seems even harder.  However it is a choice.  I Choose to say a prayer when the night brings a cold chill.  I choose to talk to God in the morning where are talks used to be, and when the memory of you brings me such sorrow I choose to remember the good times.  I miss you, but I choose to hold on to God in the mist of my sadness.  I choose joy. Thank you MiKay Gray for choosing joy.

Daughter of Grace

Today I choose joy when school is pushing anxiety;

Today I choose joy when people can be rude;

Today I choose joy when I don’t feel healthy enough;

Today I choose joy when life is hard and isn’t going my way;

Today I choose joy when the devil is trying his hardest to depress me;

Today I choose joy when I’m scared of change;

Today I choose joy when I keep on stumbling;

Today I choose joy when my friends reject God’s love;

Today I choose joy because I pray God will send me again;

Today I choose joy because I know there is hope for the future;

Today I choose joy because I’m desperate for God’s help;

Today I choose joy because I am child of God;

Today I choose joy because that grade is not going to matter 5 years from now;

Today I choose joy for myself;

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