Life · New Years Resolution

You Will Need More Than Willpower to Conquer that New Year’s Resolution

It’s a New Year with a fresh start!  I can start eating better.  I can read my bible more!  I can spend more time with family.  I can be better than I was last year… This is always the New Years mentality.  I find the New Year even giving me a surge of determination.  With this new sense of drive, I find myself asking, why?

Why do I wait for passing year for a “fresh start”?  I  always have that option no matter the time of year.  I find that this fresh start has always been possible.  A fresh start or A New Year’s Resolutions is always possible with God.  I find that no matter how great the resolution,  I will always fail.  I’m human.  My own willpower will never be enough.  I believe if I want my resolution to last it needs to have something more then my human willpower backing it up.  Lets face the facts,  My willpower will only last me so far into this new year, and the minute things start getting hard willpower checks out.  Willpower is fueled by my mind, will, and emotions.  If I really don’t want to go to the gym my mind will give plenty of excuses not to go.  “I just ate.”  “My knee is killing me.” “I think chasing  Little Johnny on the playground counted as cardio.”  The mind is deceitful above all things.  Fact is I am instructed to be spirit-led, not willpower-led (Meyer, 2007).  My soul’s (mind, will, emotions) determination can only drive me so far, but I’m going to need God’s Spirit to get me to my goal.  Zechariah 4:6 says, “Not by might, nor power, but by My Spirit, says the Lord of hosts.”  #spiritpower

So instead of the normal New Year’s hype determining my motivation,  I’ll rely on God’s Power to drive me through the long months ahead.  Jesus did say in John 15:5, “Apart from me you can do nothing.”

God, I need you.  I need you in this year to come.  I need your spirit to guide and grow me into the woman you are calling me to be.  My soul is weak without  you.  Help me beat my flesh in 2018.  Be my willpower!  Help me to fix my eyes on you in my weakness.  


This inspired me this week.  On the bible app Joyce Meyer has a 14 day devotional from her book, New Day, New You.  I am really enjoying it!  Check it out!!



Waiting is hard, but I feel I am meant for more.

I hear the hackling of the vultures,

They pick at my relentlessly

I am tired and bitter

What Now?




They circle overhead waiting my next move.

They want me to fail.

I feel already have.

I fall to my knees.

I do the only thing I have left.

I let go.

I let go of everything I think I am.

What I think I’m meant to do.

I’m Yours.



I’m His.

Something begins to stir deep in my soul.

I’m still in the desert, but I smell the rain in the distance.


I Am His.

I’m waiting.

I’m standing.

I’m ready.

I Am His. 




Our Hope


It is Christmas Eve.  Darkness covers the gathered crowd.  Candles high, cast a warm glow against the darkness.  The darkness cannot stand against the light.  The light will always win.  I feel my heart contract, “No matter how dark things are.  I will always cast the light.  My light will always be more.”

In the midst of Darkness it is hard to see the light.  Your pain and grief makes it hard to look up…

So long ago the same darkness was over the land.  The people await the birth of the Messiah. Jesus was Expected. Anticipated.  Jesus was needed.  Prophesy of promises gave hope.

“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders.  And he will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Isaiah 9:6

A light.

A long awaited savior is born!  Humbly he has come to save a dark and barren world.  The light in our darkness, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life” (John 8:12).  With God ALL things are possible. No grief, No pain, NOTHING can separate you from the LOVE of God!

Behold the Child is Born.  They will call him Emmanuel: God with us.  He is our light.  Our Hope.

Merry Christmas my sweet friends,



Patience: is Waiting Without Getting Upset

I am a Kindergarten teacher.  Often I will tell my Kindergarteners, “Patience.  Patience: is waiting without getting upset.”  Waiting is hard.  The bible says, “Ask and it will be given to you;  seek and you will find;  knock and the door will be opened to you (Matthew 7:7).”  We dwell on that first line, “Ask  and it will be given to you,” but we often look over the process to the promise.

If all I’m dong is asking, then I’m forgetting about the actions that need to be taken.  Seek and knock.  Both words are verbs.  Both are meant to be done in you’re waiting.  I can’t help but think: If I am meant to wait, then there has to be a divine purpose for my waiting.  There is something I need to learn in my waiting.  My waiting has a purpose.  My choices are simple, I can choose to ball up my fist and throw a huge fit because things are not going my way.  I could even choose to pick and annoy the friends around me with constant complaints.  Or  I could stand up tall, wear a smile and wait well.  No matter what, I have to wait.  My waiting can be done with grace or disgrace?

Waiting is hard and before it is my turn, before anything I have asked for happens, I will praise Him!  Seek Him.  When I’m forced to wait in this never ending line; when the people around me are trying to pull me down; When encouragement does not come, rejoice anyway!  Seek his word.  Look to the stories where people waited well or poorly.  Genesis 16:1-4 God promised Abraham a son, He did not wait well,  He was manipulative and during his wait time he fathered another child with another wife, who was not the child God had promised.  David was waiting to be King and struggled aimlessly escaping to the land of the Philistines, thinking if he didn’t Saul would kill him (1 Samuel 27:1).  Also in 1 Samuel 1 you can find the story of Hannah waiting for a baby.  Years and Years Hannah would pour out her soul to the Lord for a baby.  She would seek, she would knock.  She waited with purpose.  She praised God in the mist of her longing.  She gave it to the Lord and waited.  God gave her son.

Today if you are waiting, waiting on that job, a husband, a wife, a baby, or maybe you feel like you are just waiting for more.  I urge you to wait with grace.  Praise Him for you’re waiting!  Knowing He has a plan and a purpose for you’re waiting.  You are His daughter or son.  Your more is only found in Him.  #WaitWell. 

“Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!” Psalm 27:14

Wait Well My Friend,



Picture by Dory Zidon


Today I Choose Joy

Sadness comes in the dead of night, in the morning when I think of our talks, It comes on a backroad with a song we used to share.  Loss is hard.  Choosing Joy in the mist of sadness seems even harder.  However it is a choice.  I Choose to say a prayer when the night brings a cold chill.  I choose to talk to God in the morning where are talks used to be, and when the memory of you brings me such sorrow I choose to remember the good times.  I miss you, but I choose to hold on to God in the mist of my sadness.  I choose joy. Thank you MiKay Gray for choosing joy.

Daughter of Grace

Today I choose joy when school is pushing anxiety;

Today I choose joy when people can be rude;

Today I choose joy when I don’t feel healthy enough;

Today I choose joy when life is hard and isn’t going my way;

Today I choose joy when the devil is trying his hardest to depress me;

Today I choose joy when I’m scared of change;

Today I choose joy when I keep on stumbling;

Today I choose joy when my friends reject God’s love;

Today I choose joy because I pray God will send me again;

Today I choose joy because I know there is hope for the future;

Today I choose joy because I’m desperate for God’s help;

Today I choose joy because I am child of God;

Today I choose joy because that grade is not going to matter 5 years from now;

Today I choose joy for myself;

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This Love

Haunting memories darken my door. I stand in the white door frame. It has cast a shadow on my feet. I bend my head down to see the darkness, it lingers. Sickness of shame rises like vile in my throat. Swallowing, I grip the door frame. My strong stance wavers in the shadows. My weakness is evident now. I step forward on the foundation that’s been laid. The darkness can’t find me here. No shadows can stand as my feet find the pavement. My bare toes soak in the sun rays. I am free.

I can never find the words that expresses how Gods love feels. How grateful I feel. Every moment I have to choose to forget and forgive a haunting past…everyday the enemy tries to keep me there. Vile memories replay and taunt me for seconds that feel like a lifetime. But every time God will show up where the enemy tries to defeat me. Everyday God wraps me up in His arms and whispers of His grace. “You are my beautiful daughter…”

Every moment meant for my harm, turns into another beautiful written line found in my love story with the King.

There is no chain that God’s Love can’t break.

This Love – by Housefires


Lost Sheep

My take on Luke 15.

I come across a group of women talking.  They whisper and stare at me.  My shame comes across my cheeks like scarlet.  My cheeks burn, they know what I’ve done.  They know the sin I carry.  They see me through self-righteous eyes with no remorse.   They just see my past.  They’re grumbling tones echo, “She is with that man, The one who welcomes those disgusting low life’s and eats with them.”  Then I feel a hand on my shoulder, and the low grumbling tones become hushed as He begins to speak,  “What kind of person would love and care for hundred sheep, and when one goes missing, not go and find that one?  No, the shepherd would leave the ninety-nine in open country and go after the one that is lost until he finds it. When he finds what has been lost, He would carry it so carefully back home and once home rejoice with all his friends!  Look! I have found my sheep which I love and care for!!  This is my daughter which I love and care for. I have found her!  I tell you I rather have found this ONE, then have ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.”

The group of woman stand blank faced. Their remorse is now with themselves. Speechless. I say nothing as I walk away redeemed. forgiven. I am His Daughter.

I did not deserve it, I could do nothing to earn His love, yet He pursues me with a reckless abandon.  Oh Reckless love of God…Keep Overwhelming me.
If you have never heard this song by Bethal you need too!