I find myself constantly trying to earn my own salvation. I feel like I serve and I do, “God see, look what I’m doing for you.” I had to stop and check myself. In this season the enemy has been taunting me with my past. I find that I’m desperately serving to atone for past mistakes. Mistakes that have already been covered with the blood of Christ. I have already been shown mercy, grace, and love yet my humanity can’t seem to forgive myself.
I find thats the hardest part about being Christian; Accepting the love of Christ. God forgets but we remember. I know what the scripture says, He has placed my sin in the sea of forgetfulness. My sin is as far as the east is from the west. All I have to do is let go and accept God’s Mercy. Mercy is the compassion or forgiveness shown towards someone whom it is in one’s power to punish or harm. You see we know that we deserved the cross yet God choose to buy us back by the sacrifice of His only Son. God has the right to punish us for our actions except he shows us mercy, A mercy we don’t deserve. I am in awe. This love is the hardest to understand. I do not have to do anything. Nothing. There is nothing to earn, I just have to accept it.
I am writing, because I see so many of us trying to stay on the Platform in front of Pilot, I find we are trying to atone for sins already paid. Jesus already took your place, He already paid the price for your sins. He loved you so much and there was nothing you had to do. I see Pilot taking our chains off, while we are saying, “No I deserve this!!” All the while Jesus looks at us, “No, this is mine. Let me have your sin, Let me have you pain. ”
You see Our greatest Challenge is not our discipline, our devotion, it’s not the amount of things we can do. Our greatest challenge is believing the Gospel. Letting go and letting God take our shame and turn it into something beautiful. You are beautiful and worthy of the this great love story. You are His Daughter and Son.
God, I can’t put my mind around the love you gave. You overwhelm me. I am in awe. God I pray for myself and everyone else reading this, Help us not work to deserve something already given. Help us accept Your Love in a new way. Help us accept and show your love in the world around us. You are a good good Father and I love you so so much. Thank you for your love that I do not deserve. Thank you for saving me and taking my place. Amen.
Not long after I became a Christian, at the age of 12, I started having a burning desire for more of God. I wanted to serve Him in anyway I could and by 15, at youth camp in Alvin, Texas God spoke into my life of a Destiny. He planted a vision in my mind so BIG that I have felt restless to find it. As luck, a.k.a God would have it I recently started reading a book that I bought years before. Restless by Jennie Allen, is a book about finding your purpose in God. Not far into the book I am struck by Jennie’s words, “No unique purpose for your life will fill your soul. The only thing that will fulfill and settle your soul is God himself.” Here I am with this aching for purpose and I have it in my hands the whole time; God. It was so simple, but I’ve been missing it. My soul has been so focused on fulfilling God’s purpose for my life that I missed the fact I have already found it in God. God is my purpose.
So I might not know how exactly my life will pan out, but I know that God is real. God loves me and has a plan for me. God is coming and as heaven draws near I want to take as much part in God’s epic story as I can.
“If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.” – C.S. Lewis
Check out Restless by Jennie Allen
When asked to tell you more about myself, I often give a long list of what this world says I am. I am a woman. I am a wife. I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am a teacher. This list just scraps the surface, and thats where I find my dilemma. It claims my identity. Identity is the fact of being who or what a person or thing is. Your identity is that smallest, deep down part of you. What truly makes up who you are. Who are you? What are you holding your identity in? I realize I have been holding on so tightly to who the world says I am, but the world does not define me! I am not a wife, daughter, or teacher! I am a daughter of the King! I am God’s beautiful and fearfully made servant. My identity is found in God, not this world. In Isaiah 43, God says, “Fear not for I have redeemed you. I have called you by name. You are mine.” Our identity in this world will change and pass away, but who God says I am will never wither. I’ve been getting so caught up in who I am to others that I’ve lost who God says I am. So at 27, All the things I’ve held so tightly to seem to crumble, all the while God is saying, “You are mine.” God is constant, still, and never changing. God is where I choose to hold my identity.
God, I pray for anyone who is searching for who they are, or what they want to be. I pray that they find the answer in you. That your constant and filling presence overwhelms who they think they are and becomes who You are calling them to be. Help us love You, Love people, and be better then we are today. Thank you for finding me. Amen.
Thank You for listening and stopping by,