“I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” – John 15:5 ESV
I am not a sower. I know nothing about gardening. I feel like I blindly planted a tomato plant and it has taken most of the season for the plant to produce a couple of small green tomatoes. Now with fall underway I worry for my tomatoes. I worry for one in particular. This tomato was my first to grow. I watched this particular tomato very closely during the summer and no into fall. This tomato took its time. It started so small and then plumped up bigger each day. Now it fits in my hand and bends the vine to the ground with its weight. Everyday I check the vine and my beloved tomato. I check the weather for a coming frost. When do I pick them? Should I let them ripen on their own? Off the vine? However off the vine there is a chance it will never grow to its full potential.
I am a teacher. I know the talents God has placed on my life. I can take a lesson or story and adapted it to my audience. I can speak and hold their attention. I am teacher. I felt a calling for children and women. My heart breaks for the broken. I chose a safe profession that used my gifts. But the truth is I wanted to teach about Jesus. I wanted to encourage others. My profession has been fine. I have been fine. It has been enough to teach at church on the side of my profession that gets the majority of my time. However the season has shifted and I can feel the change in my spirit. The need for more and the weight of profession that isn’t my true calling. The weight of the conditions and circumstances have taken the joy out of being a teacher. Now conditions and circumstance impact my calling. My need to teach about Jesus is choked out by my profession. I don’t want to teach at church, because I am drained from my professtion and I just need to be fed from the week. I’m starving and in need of the Father every day. I love my kids, but my soul yearns for more.
In the dark of night, with stars as my light. I sit at my Fathers feet. “God I am your teacher. I don’t know what to do. I am not quitter, but I know that I am being called to something else I can’t see. I need you.” I go silent. I sit at His feet. I stop talking because I have prayed the same prayer many times. He knows me better than I know myself. Peace fills me. Because I know that He is closer now then in my victories. My eyes fall upon The Tomato vine. It is being choked by sweet potato vines. I haven’t looked at my tomatoes in about week. I bend down and take my beloved tomato into my hands. “This is you, my beloved.“
I look at the vine that was healthy enough, but for some reason my tomato hasn’t changed. It hasn’t made any growth for a month now.
I picked it. I took it from the vine.
The Father and The Sower.
The sower is eager.
The sower kneels down.
Takes the tomato in His hands.
It is so cold.
He picks it.
Takes both his hands and warms it.
He takes it in and begins to let it ripen.
You are mine.
I picked you. You are my beloved. Now matter your choice, you will be in my hands. I choose you and I have plans for you.